It seemed like such a good idea at the time...deconstructing my life. Sorting out my internal closet so to speak. Doesn't work that way after all. Where do I start - what do I keep - what do I discard?
Part of the difficulty may be that I have lived more than half of my life already without realizing how fast it was passing by. So many memories, good and bad, that I have to sort through. Knowing that I am a hoarder of sorts makes me wonder if I will simply revisit my memories and find myself unable to let go of those I really shouldn't keep. In retrospect, I should have spent more time in each moment as it occurred. If I had done so, I might be able to let go of them now.
Rather than trying to make a tidy list of memory categories, I am going to deconstruct whatever comes to mind when I open the internal closet door. If my internal closet is half as full as my physical closet, this will take some time. Whenever I am feeling convicted about what's in my closet and start cleaning, I find items that I forgot I had. Some I can give away easily, some I find impossible to give away though I hadn't remembered I even owned them. Is it the implied promise of an item newly discovered or is it a sense of shame for not remembering/using them? I think it's a combination of both.
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